Nightmare in Central Park Read online

open window. The sun colors the canal around the park blood-red and she feels the contraction of her stomach muscles. The water is just like a vein in which the blood doesn´t-

  Just at that moment Tim nudges her. When he has her attention, he unlocks the cover and looks at her, his face full of expectations.

  At first she doesn´t see anything in the little box. She bows to be better able to look into the darkness of the little box. Than IT is back again. She sees IT again, like she sees IT every night .And every day, the whole day. The white spot. It floats in the darkness on the fathomless bottom. Her nails pinch notches in the palms of her hand, almost as deep as the scars on her wrists. IT comes up, just as IT did six years ago. She recognizes IT immediately, she knows what has happened, and who was to blame. It´s retrieved from her deepest memories, overwhelms her, encircles her and pulls her into a maelstrom of uncontrollable emotions. Frightened, she wants to back of, flee, fight, close down her thoughts, like she has been doing for a very long time. But it´s too late. IT grabs her and pulls her into the little box, no matter how hard she fights. When she looks up, she is just in time to see how Tim closes the cover with a contorted face. She is the only one who hears her own scream for help. A scream, that shivers through the bone.

  ‘Ann, Ann.’

  In shock she jumps up from the chair when she hears her little brother calling for her. Now she can hear him, why not when…. When? She doesn´t understand what she is thinking. Then she feels an icy hand clamps around her heart. She staggers to the door and throws it open. In front of her is little Cedric in his favorite white sweatshirt. The little blond boy became six years old yesterday. Her mother spoils her latecomer enormously and his father thinks he can walk on water. Her little brother is very popular with his two friends who live in the same street.

  ‘Let’s go, let’s take Buddy for a walk,’ he shouts excited as ever to her. It takes him some effort to hold the dog in his arms. It’s the present from his father for his birthday. The brown fur of the animal flops over its eyes and he wags his tail like he understands what his little boss is saying. Little Cedric can hardly lift the animal. Why didn´t dad give him a cute puppy instead of such a huge adult animal from the shelter? And Buddy is also very near-sighted. Cedric can hardly handle him.

  Together they run downstairs. They yell goodbye to their parents who are siting cozy next to each other on the couch. On the background the radio is playing. Her father looks fine in his suit, dark curls and ready to go to work. ‘Watch over your little brother, Ann,’ she hears her mother calling.

  ‘Yes mum, I see you later. And you don´t have to clean my room, I tidy it up myself later, I still have holidays anyway.’ She knows her mother, she knows how clean and neat she is.

  From the shed, where the wood is shiny because of a new layer of white paint, they pick up their bikes. Proud as a peacock Cedric jumps on his little blue bike covered with shiny chrome. Ann puts Buddy on a leash for him and together they swiftly drive to the park. On the bridge she happily smells the scent of freshly mowed grass. At the entrance Ann observes that her little brother wants to put the leash of the dog around his steering wheel, when he sees the little sign in the grass. ‘Hey, don’t do that, that’s too dangerous,’ she shouts startled to him. ‘Just hold the leash in your hand. That’s safer.’

  After an hour horsing and running around with each other and Buddy they return home. On the bridge she looks aside into the dark water and she feels a triumph she doesn´t comprehend.

  With a heartbreaking sob she jumps out of her bed. She almost knocks her head against Tim’s who is bent over her. ‘Everything fine?’ he asks smiling mysteriously.

  Still tense she looks at him. ‘Your dream from the future, you can find it in my little box,’ she mumbles, repeating the ad. Shock and surprise change very fast into a furious rage that contorts her face. Her hands claw in his long hair and she fiercely jerks his head down. ‘Who are you,’ she screams furiously. ‘What are you? Where do you come from? How do you know?’ And then she lets him go, no strength left to her, whispering. ’If only it had happened that way! If I only…’

  Tears are rolling down her cheeks. He wipes them away almost affectionately. ‘If that was what had happened, isn´t it girl? But actually, who says that it´s not possible that it had happened that way?? What if this dream comes out now and I take your nightmare with me in my backpack?’

  She can´t allow hope. With disbelief she stares at the boy next to her, without hope at all. ‘Who are you?’ she whispers again. ‘Where do you come from? Why are you doing this to me?’

  ‘Who or what I´m? You should know that.’ On his haunches Tim sits down in front of her and his loyal brown eyes look at her. ‘Do you think you are the only one who feels guilty? What do you think of me? Why do you think I came back to help you? I also have got a second chance.’

  She doesn´t understand him, doesn´t understand what´s he talking about. Just as her eyes wander to the little box as like all the answers can be found in it, she hears the shouting in the living room downstairs. ‘Oh, no,’ she calls out with a voice full of despair. ‘They quarrel again. Will it never stop?’

  She jumps up, pushes Tim aside and runs down the stairs. This time I will not bury my head under my pillow so I don´t have to hear the quarreling. This time I will tell them who is guilty. It got to end. I can´t longer bear it. This got to end!

  In the living room her parents are screaming at each other with the same repeating arguments she already heard so many times.

  ‘…if you hadn´t given that bike, it had never happened.’ The hateful words of her father are echoing through the room.

  Her mother doesn´t back off for her angry husband. ‘That had nothing to do with it’, she hisses between clamped teeth. The venom in her voice cuts through Ann’s soul. ‘You gave him that dog. You! Without that animal-’ She cuts off the accusatory sentence when she sees Ann with a pale face standing in the opening of the door. With an angry gesture she pushed her husband backwards. ‘Are you happy now, fighting in proximity of your child?’

  Like a beaten dog he drops to the couch and avoids her eyes with a bent head, his arms around his raised knees. On the sleeves of his shirt little drips are making tiny spots.

  With a sob in her throat Ann turns around. Her intentions disappear as fast as they came up. How can I tell whose fault it really was? What if IT will be found out? If they know that I- She runs up the stairs and smashes the door. The blow is so loud that it can be heard downstairs. But it stays silent, no one comes up to comfort her, or to talk with her. As ever.

  Tim turns away from the window and looks at her. ‘You never told them about it, did you? Really girl, that burden is too heavy. Believe me, it will never go away automatically. You can´t walk away from it or hide yourself. And.... It´s not fair what you are doing.’

  She feels her cheeks burning with shame. She knows that he knows IT. ‘I can´t do it,’ she says helpless. ‘I don´t want to lose my parents.’

  In two steps he is on the other side of the room and grabs her shoulders. ‘Don’t you get it? You already lost your parents. Don’t you see that they even have lost each other? Don’t you realize that you all can help each other? That you have to help each other? For how many more years does this have to continue? How long do you think you will be able to bear this cross? How many times more do you want to run away, hurt yourself? And hurt your parents?’

  Ann shrivels when the words hit her like whiplashes. A thought flashes through her head and she grabs her last hope. ‘You! You can help me. You have my dream in your box.’ Her desperate voice starts begging. With both hands she clamps to his arm. ‘Give my dream to me, please. And take my nightmare with you, please.’

  He dispatches himself from her and steps backwards. For the first time she sees the pain on his face, a touch of indecision in his eyes and a twitch makes his eyelid moving uncontrollable. The words he whispers are hard to understand. ‘My price: an equal handove
r, A life for a life.’

  First she is startled when she hears the last sentence which hadn´t been visible on her cell phone. ‘A life for a life,’ she repeats slowly. Then she thinks she understands him. She whispers the sentence again, this time with a broken voice. ‘A life for a life. That´s the price I´ve to pay for the fault I´ve made? The price I´ve to pay for the dream?‘ She clenches her fists. ‘Ok, that´s fine with me. This living hell is unbearable, I even don´t want to live in it any longer.’ Tears roll over her face. ‘Ok then, take my live and get him back. Please!’

  Tim gestures her to sit down and opens his backpack with an ash-grey face.

  No more words are spoken. She thinks she knows what´s waiting for her while she stares in the blackness of his backpack and the white spot becomes visible.

  ‘Ann, Ann.’

  She flies up from her chair when she hears her little brother calling for her. She opens the door of her room. In front of her is little Cedric. The little blond boy became six years old yesterday. Her mother spoils her latecomer enormously and his father thinks he can walk on water. He is very popular with his two friends who live in the same street.

  ‘Let’s go, let’s take Buddy for a walk,’ he shouts excited as